I Aim to Misbehave A nice guy trying really hard not to be

The Push to 300

On June 1st, 2009 I weighed 390 pounds. I was miserable, depressed, frustrated and simply not happy with myself. I wish I could recall what epiphany or mental kick in the pants occurred that caused me to do something about it. Everyday that June I exercised for 30 minutes in the gym and stuck to a 2000 calorie diet. I was focused and determined and hungry to make a change.

By the end of June I was down to 378 pounds. I continued to exercise (although not everyday) and stuck with counting my calories. By the end of July I was down to 367 pounds. By August 31st I was 355 pounds and by the end of September I weighed 341 pounds. In October I stalled out at 340 but was able to refocus and get down to 328 by the end of November. That was a total of 62 pounds lost in six months doing nothing but exercising and watching my calorie intake. Sure, I had my setbacks and occasional cheat days but back then I earned them.

I lost all that weight by simply exercising and counting calories. I had a clear focus on losing weight that rarely faltered. Getting complements and encouragement from family and friends was nice but that was never a driving reason for losing the weight. I was just motivated by my simple desire to better myself.

Since then it’s been nothing but a series of excuses and piss poor decisions. Sure, everyone struggles during the holiday season but hell that was 6 months ago! Today, June 1st, 2010, is a year later and I weighed in at 329 pounds. That’s the same as I weight at the end of November. That’s six months I wasted feeling miserable, frustrated and depressed.

Before you say it, no it’s not okay that I “maintained”. I’m not at a weight that one should want to maintain. I’m at this weight because I’m a sorry fat ass who feels sorry for himself.

I’m ready to not feel that way anymore.

I’m writing this blog post for three reasons:

1. Writing this down helps me to reflect on what I’ve accomplished and gather my thoughts.

2. By making my thoughts public I’m helping assure to myself that I’m serious about continuing to lose weight.

3. I want my family and friends to know that I’m getting serious again so that they’ll understand when I snap and bitch at them when they try to offer me to go drinking, dining or indulge in sweets.

You’ll notice I didn’t say that I’m wanting actual help from family and friends. I love my friends and I welcome their kind words and words of encouragement. I’m just too dang stubborn when it comes to friends offering to help. It always ends up with me childishly avoiding them because I just have to do things my own way. It’s silly, I know. I just ask that my friends bare with me!

So, Facebook and Twitter friends get ready! You may want to unfollow me now if you don’t want me to bombard you with my progress reports and healthy thoughts. That seemed to work last year so I’m gonna start it up again.

It’s time to make the drive for 300 pounds!